Sunday, 1 March 2009


I was sitting tapping out a story on my computer for a competiton and thought what am I afraid of most? The answer failing? Failure can be viewed in many ways.

An artist can fail if they don't attempt to put pencil to paper. Not trying to create anything can be counted as a failure as you let self doubt in to your life and then you never achieve your goals.

I was watching various programmes on Margaret Thatcher. I suppose when she came to power and the talk of her being the first woman prime minister was an amazing feat in itself. I thought she had had it easy, until I saw the programme about Finchley. It just goes to show she was determined to overcome self doubt, prejudice and the "old school tie brigade".

If I don't enter the competition I will never know if my writing would have been a successful piece or not. I have completed the piece and once I am happy with it I will no doubt send it off. At least my motto nothing ventured nothing gained will have been applied.

If I don't win I won't have failed I have tried my best and that is all we can ask of ourselves.

If we don't try we never know what we can achieve.

I know I have to concentrate on my writing despite, my cough, aches and pains. Anxiety seems to be playing a part too in my ailments and this certainly is not helping. I wake in the night with pains in my chest, I reach for my inhaler and try and relax. Each time seems to be worse than the one before all I can hope for is sleep as I know tomorrow is another day and it will be better.

What helps me through my challenges is my friends and support. Knowing others are feeling the same way about their writing and wondering if it is good enough to be published means I know I am not alone.

Best wishes to everyone.


1 comment:

  1. Yes, Fee, you are certainly not alone. I still fear that I have made a mistake in the story, that someone will say it is not worth the money they have paid for the book..that sort of thing..the fears change, but you just move on to a new set. There are a few lucky souls out there who sail through life, never bothered with these considerations, but I find them few and far between.

    I have had a ten year illness, and I do admire you tremendously, go for it girl!

    With love, Carole x