Fantasing Again

If one of your dreams came true about your writing would it be your book turned into a movie?

If so, who do you envisage playing the main characters.

For me this would be easy it would be my idol Julia Roberts. I have watched in her many films my favourite being Erin Brockovich, strange how I am still drawn to law.

When I was studying law my favourite programmes were The Bill, Judge John Deed, Kavanagh QC, Police Camera Action, Police Stop, Casualty, Frost among others.

My favourite film apart from Erin Brockovich was "The Man Who Sued God" starring Billy Connolly.

The first time I went to The Royal Show with Steve I wore a red dress with white polka dots on it. It was a hot day so I bought a sun hat. When I tried it on I put my arms out like Julia Roberts had done in Pretty Woman at the polo match, Steve laughed and from that moment on he called me "Pretty Woman".

I wonder if any films influence your writing and if so which ones?

Best wishes

Fee

A brilliant Writing Day

With the good news I received this morning and my dreams last night I was in the mood for writing all day. In fact I achieved everything I wanted in half the day.

I had envisaged adapting the chapters of my book into under 5000 words for a writing competition. With the inspiration this morning I decided to tackle the task in a new light and follow the guidelines to the letter. I had previously completed the synopsis and biography a couple of weeks ago - with the help of "Wannabe a Writer" by Jane Wenham-Jones. Without this book I would feel at a complete loss.

Well with the synopsis open on one screen and a blank word document on another I set off on my task. In fact what I wrote this morning seems better than any of my chapters.

So I will leave it to rest for a bit before I decide to edit what I put in the computer this morning.

This is one of the first times I have been really happy with my writing.

Good luck to you all with your WIPs and your writing dreams.

Best wishes

Fee

Writing

Writing can be like a relationship. What do I mean by this? I expect we all remember first date nerves. Wondering what to wear, would it go all right, being anxious, feeling sick and yet wanting to look our best.

Well writing to me brings out those nerves. Will it ever be good enough? What will people looking at it think? I can't do this it doesn't look good enough. In the past my instincts have been right and I ended up making fool of myself or worse still locking myself indoors not wanting to go out when someone wanted to go out with me as my nerves got the better of me.

This is what writing is like to me. If I am unsure of a piece I really don't want to send it out and face ridicule yet how will I know if I don't send the work out if it is going to be appreciated.

Yes I totally lack confidence in my ability.

Today as the negativity was beginning to take over a glimmer of light and hope came my way. After months of sending letters out to various newspapers I have been published in the News of the World. I didn't get the star letter but at least I got published.

So I am more determined to get to grips with my writing relationship. If you don't sow seeds they won't grow. Some seeds may lie fallow for ages but then the ideas will come and these in turn will flourish.

Best of luck to everyone.

Fee

Angels or are they?

They fly and flutter above your head

Some are yellow others are black and red

Many are brown and have marks like owls

Some have pretty wings and when they open

You can see pretty colours like bright blue

This is not a pigment it is a hue

caused by the light as the scales open

If you look carefully you can see white dots on leaves

These are the eggs which will be ready to hatch

And then before you know it they are crawling around

On the floor so watch where you tread

As you don’t want to feel dread

In case you squish or squash one as you walk

They crawl along flat on their stomachs







And then form crustaceans

It is then that they bloom and then begin to fly

High high up into the sky

As they land on you do not balk

They only visit briefly and their two lives

Are really short less

Their life is short just like spirits

These angels that appear from heaven

These were taken at a day out at Symonds Yat Butterfly Farm

Battling with Technology

Oh Boy,

Where do I start? I wanted to sort out my computer and upload some photos via bluetooth. The bluetooth icon was in the control panel so off I set it wouldn't connect to the mobile phone despite the fact they both said connected with each other. That was the start of the problems that I am now experiencing.

Next I was running a trial version of Office 2007 and wanted to be able to install Office 2003 having put the cd into the drive and getting loads of errors I gave up. I nearly threw the thing out of the window. I feel so inadequate with technology when it goes wrong.

When I put a cd in the machine and it installs simply I am really proud of myself. When things go wrong I am a grouch. The main thing was I dragged myself off to bed to sleep again hoping I would awake in a much better mood.

This has now happened and I have decided to leave technology to an expert friend. He will no doubt tease me and say I am useless but I know I tried to follow his instructions and the things just wouldn't co-operate.

This makes me more determined to visit the place the photos are of and take the digital camera instead. Much better pictures and easy to upload to the computer she says to herself. Any excuse to get out and about away from the house.

No doubt I will be inspired when I do eventually get to do the burning desire of posting wonderful pictures on my blog.

I just hope no one beats me to it and visits the place I have my heart set on.

Got a hectic week next week and could do with some inspiration. No doubt will feel better for it.

No doubt I will achieve my goals one day.

Best wishes

Fee

My Fantasy Writing Day

I would wake up to find a wonderful cooked breakfast being delivered on a tray by my wonderful husband. It would consist of bacon, eggy bread, mushrooms, hashbrowns and tomato sauce. Together with orange juice and black coffee.

Then I would have a leisurely shower again assisted by my husband. Then it would be the struggle of getting into clothes that fit and I am comfortable with.

I would discover I have an invitation to speak at the local WI about my newly published autobiography. I would panic and insist I have nothing suitable to wear hence a shopping spree would have to entail. Immediately I would telephone Cleobury Mortimer and my dear friend at a lingerie shop to make sure I looked my best in the underwear department.

I would also treat myself to a twice yearly hairdo and a biannual manicure. Once satisfied with my appearance I would set off to do my speech. Would I prepare it in advance of course I would. I don't want to make a fool of myself. Perhaps I would write two versions one for the younger members of the WI and one for the older ones. I would never be sure what age would be there and if both were I would merge the two speeches together. Well at least that is what I tell myself.

Once the speech is over the ladies of the WI are asking me how I got into writing and what made me accept the challenge of getting my writing out there to be published.

Now my first public speaking event is successfully over I know realise I have a second string to my writing bow and can utilise this skill too.

I just have to learn to promote myself on the internet, via word of mouth and hope that I get many bookings.

Next I have a book signing to attend. I envisage a long queue on to the pavement from the bookshop but knowing my real life it would be one person from the bookshop requiring a book signed by moi.

I suppose one fantasy a day is good enough and the book signing will be another wonderful fantasy in time.

My other fantasies would be to get something published in a nature magazine similar to what I have described in my previous post. If only I had remembered a camera.

Well that is my fantasy life. I wonder what everyone else's ideas are.

Thank you Julie for inspiring me.

Best wishes

Fee

I wish I had had my camera

On Tuesday this week I was attending an event. I was waiting in the car for my husband to arrive along with several others for the set time. While I was waiting the wind blew. In front of me were several trees. I discovered when the wind blew the leaves high up into the breeze a nest was hidden from view. I wondered what type of nest it was and whether it was abandoned.

While glancing up from the book I was reading I noticed something different at the spot where the nest was. I stared for a while and then realised a bird was sitting on the nest. I heard "two cows taffy" the wood pigeon call and then realised it was a pair of wood pigeons that were on the tree above the car. I stared in amazement wondering what would happen next. The female turned herself around several times then settled on the nest. I presumed she would sit there for hours.

After half an hour she left the nest and wandered up the branch balancing precariously in the wind. I was meserised watching the way she sat attentively watching the nest but not sitting on it again for a long while.

At 12.30 I departed for the event we were take part in and returned to the car half expecting to see one of the wood pigeons perched precariously on the nest but to no avail. The nest was desserted once more. I strained my neck to see if I could see the pair balancing on the branch in the wind but the leaves were hiding them well.

I hope all goes well with that nest and that any baby wood pigeon hatches safely and is not devoured by prowling cats or other predators.

It seems amazing that the nests are only built for the chicks to be hatched and reared in. When a home is cosy and warm I know I would prefer to stay safe and not have to perch precariously on a branch in order to roost for the night.

In some ways I wish I had had a camera but in others it is moments like these that memories mean a lot.

Best wishes

Fee

Deternination

I am determined to finish something I have my heart set on before the end of the week.

In the meantime I have submitted a poem to the National Poetry Anthology that Julie mentioned in her blog. I will possibly submit a couple by post as well. I will never know unless I get my work out whether it will be considered good enough.

I have sent a couple of letters to the News of the World one under my husband's name and one under my own today.

It looks like I will have to spend my writing time at home for a while as I am not feeling quite myself. I have a lot on my plate at the moment and will be glad when this week is over.

I hope to be able to venture out and do some proper research on various newspapers and other things soon. Each time I have a great idea it seems to be thwarted. Never mind I am determined to overcome all the obstacles and get things done in time.

I am finding inspiration from "Wannabe a Writer" by Jane Wenham-Jones and I heartily recommend this book to any writer who wants inspiration.

Anyway I am tired now and going to get some sleep I hope.

Best wishes.

Fee

Strange

It is strange that when you hear a story or an event that has happened to someone you listen with fascination but think it could never happen to you.

Until something in your life makes you do something different for a change or an illness occurs in your nearest family and then you think more about it affecting you. Sometimes you realise too late you could have changed what happened if you had been given the correct information at the time. You may think something you are told is not important but then realise in an instant as your life is hit hard that what you were told was vitally important.

I will always remember getting my feet measured for shoes and how important I felt each time we went shoe shopping when I was little. As I got older I tried to ensure I kept up with this experience as my feet have always been awkward size and shape.

I also remember choosing a lovely pair of flat lace up shoes only to have the soles cut off and replaced with metal and then the remainder of the cut off sole was replaced at an angle. Everyone heard me walking and I could hear the clip sound as the metal hit the concrete pavement. Yes I was called names at school for this and had to cope as best I could.

To me I felt normal doing various things like running, swimming, rounders, tennis, badminton and the like. I never felt that there were any boundaries I could not cross only my own mental boundaries were going to hold me back.

I will never forget playing squash for the first time when I was an adult. I picked up the racquet and the little black ball. I thought it looked easy but soon realised it wasn't. I tossed the ball up into the air and tried to make contact with the racquet but to no avail. I even checked the strings to make sure there was not a hole in them.

Finally with perservation I made contact with the ball and was smiling with relief. The frustration had been building and this led me to be more determined to achieve the effect I wanted. Finally I was able to play and as the ball bounced up in front of me I aimed and hit it back against the squash court wall with a huge smile on my face.

Now I am unable to do the sports I loved but if I had known what my adult life would hold what would I change and if I could change it for me can I change it for others?

The answer to one of my life changing experiences is yes I can change things for those that follow this journey and hopefully prevent someone going through what I have endured. It is for this reason my website was set up.

There are other things I cannot change but am learning how to cope with what has happened. I suppose in a way when I look back at my old life I grieve for it but in others I look at it and think it has made me the person I am today.

Try and think if there is anything in your life that you could change for the better and if you could would you make others aware of it?

Best wishes

Fee

You Never Know

Hi Everyone,

You never know who is reading your blog or keeping up to date with your movements. I have had a surprise today in that I received an email from one of my readers. This particular person is a freelance writer and may be looking to do a feature for various magazines.

It just goes to show you never know that something you post is being read. You may not think it is important but to someone reading it the article could be just what they are looking for. It could be something to help someone else but you wrote it to get feelings off your chest. Little could you realise that it would blow up into a national story.

Just by writing you are opening up a new world for yourself and others. Making them aware of issues that are important to you.

I am lucky in that I write because I find it therapeutic and put my feelings into print whether it be on the internet or on paper.

I will certainly count myself lucky if my story gets out there by whatever means but the main thing is its "my" story no one else has trodden the journey I do. I am individual with my own take on what has happened to me. We all cope in different ways with illness and I am proof of that.

I love me for who I am not what I haven't got. I am me and I am happy.

That is all that matters to me.

If I can be happy with my writing and others accept it for what it is that is fine. It may not be to everyone's taste and I also appreciate that. We all have different likes and dislikes especially with writing and publishers are looking for what they like. I realise not every publisher will like my story.

If I am happy with what I write then I put it out there and that is all that matters to me is that I am happy with it.

Best wishes and good luck to everyone.

Fee

Brimingham

I have been to Birmingham today not for shopping I may add but for some help with emotional problems and how to cope better with my depression. All of this provided free by a really kind person who wants to help people like me be able to move on with their life.

It was very different to anything I have ever tried before and I certainly got some benefit from it. I know I can't change the events that have happened in my life and I can't change the memories but I can manage my emotions of them.

Our lives are based on certain things that happen and each is like a little story on a piece of paper. After a while you store these up to the back of your mind and then it is like a filing cabinet falling over forwards with all the pieces of paper falling on the floor. You then have to pick them up and file them back. Unfortunately as you pick up a piece you look at it briefly and the same emotions are brought back it is learning how to cope with these emotions that is the most important thing to do.

Some can be really happy and it those you need to concentrate on. The others make you who you are and it is up to you whether you choose to move forward and learn from these experiences so you turn into a better person.

I am lucky I have realised that things have happened to me for a reason. I still find it hard to come to terms with not working but by doing things to help others I know I am moving on and moving forward.

I am lucky I have my writing.

Best wishes to everyone.

Fee

Tired but worth every minute

I have just got back in from a "health" session at Bridgnorth run by Timeless Partnership Ltd. They cater for the needs of patients with various health conditions. The main thing is to keep the lympatic drainage system working.

By starting with playing with blowing bubbles like children we learn to relax and control our breathing.

Next is gentle exercise building up to the harder work of stretching and then ending with a relaxing tune and deep breathing.

I was a bit unsure of what to expect but was so glad I went. This is spurring me on to want to go back swimming everyday as the lymphoedema is getting the better of me at the moment and winning instead of the other way around.

It is going to be a daily battle keeping the swelling under control but with the help of tonight's session I know I am determined to do it.

I am now looking foward to eating a salad.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Fee

On the Ball

Am I odd i doing things in advance
or should I leave things to chance
like the chairman's challenge as soon I get it
I am hard at it working out what to write about
others leave it last minute
if I do this I think I would bin it
or perhaps I should just chance it
knowing my luck I would forget to
complete the piece of work I had chosen
and then my dreams would all be broken
winning that fiver would all be over
but who knows I could win like a lottery rollover.

Bother

My husband eagerly set off to get the Sunday newspaper. Having written last week, I really thought I had a chance of being published I scanned the letters page but to no avail. The letter I had written had not been printed.

So I have submitted another one today to the same newspaper under my other name.

You never know I could be in luck. Their letters page is so small so it is the select few that get printed.

At least I have given it another go.

Best of luck to everyone else.

Fee

I am on a Roll

Thanks to Wrekin Writers I am on a roll of sending stuff out regularly having perused Writing Magazine and found a letter from Barbara Groom in there it spurred me on.

I therefore submitted a letter.

Not only that I have 3 poems accepted on Poetry Street http://www.poetrystreet.co.uk/Contributors%20Pages/Smith_Fiona_01.htm
all within a week.

This has spurred me on to do to a lot more.

I was chatting to someone online yesterday and instead of prose I had poetry going on in my head. I never thought of writing poetry before but spurred on by my writing group this now seems so easy. I have even sent one off to Paul O'Grady.

I am so glad I have found so much support. I really can't wait for the next writing date which is next Saturday.

Thanks again Wrekin Writers.

Best wishes

Fee

I am Excited

The post has just arrived and I have received my Writing Magazine which also comes with Writers News when you subscribe.

There are loads of competitions to enter and a lot of interesting articles I am going to spend the next couple of days reading through the whole thing.

It is amazing to feel like this each time a magazine drops through my door and it spurs me on to achieve more with my writing skills.

Hope everyone else is enjoying their writing.

Best wishes

Fee

Profile

I now have a profile on Poetry Street I had no idea it would happen this quick. I only submitted one poem yesterday and received an email to ask if I wanted to post a profile.

I thought about it and sent the details over while doing this a poem came into my head and I typed it out straight away. This was also accepted and it is now on display.

Best of luck to everyone.

If I can do it anyone can.

Success

Thanks to Mike for setting the Chairman's challenge Out of the Comfort Zone in which I chose to write poetry for the first time ever I have now submitted two poems today to Poetry Street and they have both been accepted and will be published there tomorrow.

So I am certainly pleased with how my writing is going.

Attingham Park

What a lovely weekend we had at Attingham the last couple of days. Despite the drizzle we all had a good time meeting new people and socialising.

This was taken down by the weir

We even spied something in the grass

If you don't attempt

If you don't have a go and follow your dreams you will never know if you are going to succeed in following your dreams.

I have just been watching Britains Got Talent and my husband said why do they bother if they are no good. I patiently explained that those that think they are good will go for it and those that are unsure may not if those that are unsure don't have a go no one will know they have talent. It is the same with writing you have to submit things to find out how good you are.

It is a scary world and we all have to attempt things we have never done before. Today at Attingham was scary for some people but on the whole it was a good day.

I can remember being really scared when I first went on live TV. I have only done this once and nearly ran out of the studio three times but was prevented from doing so by a researcher who said I deserved to be there.

I will never forget seeing Noel choking back the tears just like I was. It was extremely emotional and an experience I will never forget.

The reason it was so emotional was the way they had edited the film. At home when they finished filming we had finished on a high note. For impact they had cut and pasted things to get the effect they wanted to make a huge impact on the audience.

This worked as you can see from this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1etPXvHnhGU

I do media work to help others not for any gain for myself. It is to highlight the plight of others far worse off than me who are too weak to speak out for themselves.

It is this that makes such a difference and I know it works as cancer patients are now entitled to free prescriptions thanks to this campaign http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/shropshire/7561369.stm

This is why I am so positive and this keeps me going despite the fact I can suffer with depression. When I get depression it affects my writing just like when someone has a cold or other illness it shows in their typing during a typing test. Strange how illness affects the outcome of things and people can read that things are not quite right.

I love my life and my writing and I hope to keep on with it and have some successes.

Good luck to everyone.

Fee

A Brilliant Day

Dear Wrekin Writers,

Thank you for a lovely day out in the sun. Despite the cold I have got sunburnt on my face somehow. Must have been the wind.

Its been great exploring Attingham Park and I really enjoyed the day.

It was great to be able to socialise and have time to talk to other members of the group as on meeting days it is not always possible to talk to other writers.

Thank you.

I am looking forward to tomorrow.

Words

I am learning new skills everyday with writing and technology.

I am currently listening to Boyzone and heard the song "words" which made me post tonight. Words mean so much when written with feeling but how many times did you hear the phrase when you were younger "words can't hurt you". Some words can hurt especially when you are being bullied and called names.

It is using the words in the right way that progress is made and others appreciate the true meaning behind something.

An example of this the other night I ended up watching a programme about the Lion the witch and the wardrobe and someone in a university reckoned that each of these books was written about each of the planets.

I wonder how many other books have hidden meaning and if I will discover anything in my journey of writing.