Wednesday 20 May 2009

Strange

It is strange that when you hear a story or an event that has happened to someone you listen with fascination but think it could never happen to you.

Until something in your life makes you do something different for a change or an illness occurs in your nearest family and then you think more about it affecting you. Sometimes you realise too late you could have changed what happened if you had been given the correct information at the time. You may think something you are told is not important but then realise in an instant as your life is hit hard that what you were told was vitally important.

I will always remember getting my feet measured for shoes and how important I felt each time we went shoe shopping when I was little. As I got older I tried to ensure I kept up with this experience as my feet have always been awkward size and shape.

I also remember choosing a lovely pair of flat lace up shoes only to have the soles cut off and replaced with metal and then the remainder of the cut off sole was replaced at an angle. Everyone heard me walking and I could hear the clip sound as the metal hit the concrete pavement. Yes I was called names at school for this and had to cope as best I could.

To me I felt normal doing various things like running, swimming, rounders, tennis, badminton and the like. I never felt that there were any boundaries I could not cross only my own mental boundaries were going to hold me back.

I will never forget playing squash for the first time when I was an adult. I picked up the racquet and the little black ball. I thought it looked easy but soon realised it wasn't. I tossed the ball up into the air and tried to make contact with the racquet but to no avail. I even checked the strings to make sure there was not a hole in them.

Finally with perservation I made contact with the ball and was smiling with relief. The frustration had been building and this led me to be more determined to achieve the effect I wanted. Finally I was able to play and as the ball bounced up in front of me I aimed and hit it back against the squash court wall with a huge smile on my face.

Now I am unable to do the sports I loved but if I had known what my adult life would hold what would I change and if I could change it for me can I change it for others?

The answer to one of my life changing experiences is yes I can change things for those that follow this journey and hopefully prevent someone going through what I have endured. It is for this reason my website was set up.

There are other things I cannot change but am learning how to cope with what has happened. I suppose in a way when I look back at my old life I grieve for it but in others I look at it and think it has made me the person I am today.

Try and think if there is anything in your life that you could change for the better and if you could would you make others aware of it?

Best wishes

Fee

1 comment:

  1. Yes, I agree so much with what you say. I had a life threatening illness for ten years, and although it is now in the background, it has damaged my health and as I've probably already mentioned, it leaves me with little energy.
    I had led a very selfish life, terribly spoiled by a doting and wonderful kindly Mother, but it made me a very unpleasant character.
    However, the illness changed me totally. I had just qualified as a minister in the church when the illness began, and when a young priest came to see me, I told him that my illness was the best thing that had ever happened to me in my life.
    Poor young man, he had not have enough life experience to understand this, and in a puzzled voice he kept saying, 'I can't get my head around that one!'
    Lovely to see you appear on my new blog and support me, I was so pleased...xx

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