Sad News in Papers this morning

I was so hoping that Jade Goody would at last have some good news about her health. Unfortunately not and I really feel for her. She has two lovely sons who do not deserve to lose their mum.

Jade is angry with the doctors who she saw three years ago and they failed to diagnose her illness and allegedly say it was "stress".

Some doctors do act like gods when patients go and see them and we see them in their white coats and believe what they say and put our trust in them.

What we should all do is we are unsure of what they have said is ask for a second opinion or keep going back. I know someone who kept going back and was a nuisance to the hospital staff but she was right and they were wrong. Sadly she is no longer with us and I wish the doctors had listened to this young woman when she presented with breast cancer. This has resulted in another child left without a mum.

It is heartbreaking reading these stories and knowing that I don't and can't have children and yet I am surviving. It begs the question "Why?"

I don't know the answer so I keep doing all I can to make this journey much better for those that follow and fight for the rights of the young ones going to consultants so that they are not told "Because of your age it won't be cancer" or "You are too young for it to be cancer".

This is why I am here I may be a thorn in the side of the NHS but I really think prevention is better than cure and if a problem is detected early it will prevent the deaths we are seeing from this illness.

I will never be free of hospital appointments or be given the "all clear". All I do is plod along and keep going. Drifting from one hospital appointment to another. Seeing one consultant and then another.

I have no idea when I will be able to take control and all I do is cope as best I can. It is for this reason I chose to write my book and I have also joined a wonderful writing group.

By attending the writing group I have found wonderful support and it means I get out of the house and these four walls.

The other reason I go out is for support groups and a cancer forum but there it brings the reality home that I have the disease and will never be free.

Writing is a completely different thing for me and I feel so much better putting my thoughts onto to paper.

Best wishes to everyone.

Fee